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22–36 monthsSelf-Regulation

Begins to accept the needs of others and can take turns and share resources, sometimes with support from others.

Observe whether the child: begins to accept the needs of others and can take turns and share resources, sometimes with support from others.

What it looks like

Three ways this behaviour shows up as a child grows. Each level includes everyday moments to watch for.

Emerging

Just starting

Will take turns or share when an adult models, prompts, or brokers an exchange, but it is inconsistent and can trigger protest.

What you might see

  • Snatches a toy from another child and runs off when asked to wait.
  • Clutches all the crayons/blocks and refuses to put any back when an adult asks.
  • Cries, shouts, or lashes out when an adult says it is someone else’s turn.
  • Hands over a toy after an adult counts down or repeats “your turn” several times.
  • Shares when an adult offers a swap (gives one toy when another is offered).
  • Waits briefly for a turn only while an adult stays close and coaches them.

Expected

On track

Takes turns in familiar games and shares some resources when supported by simple routines and reminders (e.g., “my turn/your turn”).

What you might see

  • Takes turns rolling a ball/building a tower when an adult narrates turn-taking.
  • Shares a snack item when asked (e.g., passes a cracker) but may need reminding.
  • Returns a shared item (e.g., puzzle piece, spoon) after a prompt to “give it back now.”

Exceeding

Going further

Takes turns and shares resources with peers across a range of play situations, needing little adult support and recovering from disappointments.

What you might see

  • Waits for a turn on the slide/swing with one reminder or none.
  • Offers a toy or material to a peer to join play (e.g., gives them a car or a brush).
  • Shares communal resources (e.g., takes one marker and puts it back) without arguing.
  • Suggests a fair rule (e.g., “after you, then me”) and follows it.
  • Notices another child without a turn/resource and offers one or invites them in.
  • Helps a younger peer manage turn-taking by reminding them to wait or by modelling sharing.

Try this at home

Small everyday moments where you can notice this behaviour without setting up anything special.

  • During snack with a shared bowl/plate, notice whether your child can wait for you to pass it and can hand it back when you ask.

  • At the playground (slide/swing), watch whether your child can wait for another child’s turn without pushing or grabbing.

  • During block or colouring play with limited materials, see whether your child can share one item when you say “let’s take turns.”

  • In the bath with two cups/boats, play “my turn/your turn” and notice whether your child hands the item over when it is your turn.

  • In a simple turn-taking game (rolling a ball, posting shapes), notice whether your child can pause and let another person go next.

Connected behaviours

Behaviours that scaffold, follow, or co-emerge with this one.

Where this comes from

The framework source and supporting developmental research.

Framework source

  • Development Matters in the EYFS (2012), DfE — Personal, Social and Emotional Development: Managing feelings and behaviour (22–36 months).

    Framework-native progression includes turn-taking/sharing as an observable feature of developing self-regulation and social competence.

Developmental research

  • Brownell, C. A., Svetlova, M., Anderson, R., Nichols, S. R., & Drummond, J. (2013). Socialization of Early Prosocial Behavior: Parents' Talk about Emotions is Associated with Sharing and Helping in Toddlers. Infancy, 18, 91–119. doi:10.1111/j.1532-7078.2012.00125.x

    Empirical work shows sharing/helping emerge in toddlerhood and are shaped through everyday social interactions and scaffolding.

Five-level rubric (detailed)Show

The full progression underlying the three levels above. Used by the platform’s reasoning agent when planning activities and observations.

Not Yet
Generally holds tightly to toys/food and tries to control resources; turn-taking breaks down quickly even with adult prompting.
  • Snatches a toy from another child and runs off when asked to wait.
  • Clutches all the crayons/blocks and refuses to put any back when an adult asks.
  • Cries, shouts, or lashes out when an adult says it is someone else’s turn.
Emerging
Will take turns or share when an adult models, prompts, or brokers an exchange, but it is inconsistent and can trigger protest.
  • Hands over a toy after an adult counts down or repeats “your turn” several times.
  • Shares when an adult offers a swap (gives one toy when another is offered).
  • Waits briefly for a turn only while an adult stays close and coaches them.
Developing
Takes turns in familiar games and shares some resources when supported by simple routines and reminders (e.g., “my turn/your turn”).
  • Takes turns rolling a ball/building a tower when an adult narrates turn-taking.
  • Shares a snack item when asked (e.g., passes a cracker) but may need reminding.
  • Returns a shared item (e.g., puzzle piece, spoon) after a prompt to “give it back now.”
Secure
Takes turns and shares resources with peers across a range of play situations, needing little adult support and recovering from disappointments.
  • Waits for a turn on the slide/swing with one reminder or none.
  • Offers a toy or material to a peer to join play (e.g., gives them a car or a brush).
  • Shares communal resources (e.g., takes one marker and puts it back) without arguing.
Reflexive
Initiates fair turn-taking, negotiates simple rules, and notices others who need a resource and offers or suggests a solution.
  • Suggests a fair rule (e.g., “after you, then me”) and follows it.
  • Notices another child without a turn/resource and offers one or invites them in.
  • Helps a younger peer manage turn-taking by reminding them to wait or by modelling sharing.