22–36 monthsSelf-RegulationPersonal, Social and Emotional Development: Managing feelings and behaviour
Shows understanding and cooperates with some boundaries and routines.
Observe whether the child: shows understanding and cooperates with some boundaries and routines.
What it looks like
Three ways this behaviour shows up as a child grows. Each level includes everyday moments to watch for.
Emerging
Just starting
Shows partial understanding of a few boundaries and routines but needs frequent reminders and adult proximity to cooperate. Cooperation is brief and breaks down easily when frustrated.
What you might see
When told “stop”/“no,” continues the behaviour (grabbing, climbing) and escalates if blocked.
Cannot stay with a routine (handwashing, putting shoes on) long enough to complete any steps even with repeated prompts.
Frequently crosses a clear boundary (e.g., runs off) immediately after an adult sets it.
Stops briefly when an adult says “no,” then repeats the behaviour within seconds.
Cooperates with one routine step (e.g., brings shoes) but refuses the next step without adult help.
Follows a boundary only when an adult is directly next to them (e.g., stays on the path only when holding hands).
Expected
On track
Cooperates with some boundaries and routines in familiar contexts with adult support (simple prompts, “first/then”). Can stop and re-join after reminders, and begins to respond to simple explanations.
What you might see
Responds to a simple boundary cue (“gentle hands”) by changing touch when an adult reminds them.
Joins tidy-up when given one clear job (“put the cars in the box”) and completes it with support.
Follows a familiar transition routine (coat on, line up) when the adult narrates the steps.
Exceeding
Going further
Usually follows key boundaries (safety, gentle hands, tidy-up) and participates in daily routines with minimal reminders across familiar settings. Accepts correction and can return to the activity without major escalation.
What you might see
Anticipates a routine (goes to wash hands when told “snack time”) and completes it with minimal prompting.
Keeps to a known boundary (stays near caregiver at the park) and returns when called more often than not.
After a reminder, adjusts behaviour (quieter voice, walking feet) and continues play without a meltdown.
Reminds a peer/sibling of a routine (“shoes on then outside”) and demonstrates the step.
Adjusts to a small routine change (different route, new order) by asking “what next?” rather than refusing.
Uses self-talk or gestures to guide themselves through steps (muttering “wash, dry” while handwashing).
Try this at home
Small everyday moments where you can notice this behaviour without setting up anything special.
During a transition (leaving home, bedtime), use “first/then” language and observe whether your child cooperates with the first step without repeated reminders.
At tidy-up time, give one clear boundary and one clear job (e.g., “blocks in the basket”). Notice whether your child can follow through with support.
At the park, set a simple boundary (“stay where you can see me”). Observe whether your child checks back or stays within the boundary.
During handwashing or teeth brushing, ask: “What do we do first?” Notice whether your child can follow the routine steps with light prompting.
When your child breaks a rule, give a brief correction and watch whether they can return to play after the reminder (rather than escalating).
Connected behaviours
Behaviours that scaffold, follow, or co-emerge with this one.
The framework source and supporting developmental research.
Framework source
Development Matters in the EYFS (2012), Personal, Social and Emotional Development: Managing feelings and behaviour (22–36 months).
Boundaries and routines are specified as observable cooperation behaviours in the toddler band.
Developmental research
Vygotsky, L. S. (1978). Mind in Society: The Development of Higher Psychological Processes. Cambridge, MA: Harvard University Press.
Sociocultural theory supports the idea that children internalise adult guidance and routines over time, moving from external regulation to emerging self-regulation.
Five-level rubric (detailed)ShowHide
The full progression underlying the three levels above. Used by the platform’s reasoning agent when planning activities and observations.
Not Yet
Often ignores or cannot follow simple boundaries and routines, requiring constant adult intervention. Becomes highly dysregulated during routine demands or limit-setting.
When told “stop”/“no,” continues the behaviour (grabbing, climbing) and escalates if blocked.
Cannot stay with a routine (handwashing, putting shoes on) long enough to complete any steps even with repeated prompts.
Frequently crosses a clear boundary (e.g., runs off) immediately after an adult sets it.
Emerging
Shows partial understanding of a few boundaries and routines but needs frequent reminders and adult proximity to cooperate. Cooperation is brief and breaks down easily when frustrated.
Stops briefly when an adult says “no,” then repeats the behaviour within seconds.
Cooperates with one routine step (e.g., brings shoes) but refuses the next step without adult help.
Follows a boundary only when an adult is directly next to them (e.g., stays on the path only when holding hands).
Developing
Cooperates with some boundaries and routines in familiar contexts with adult support (simple prompts, “first/then”). Can stop and re-join after reminders, and begins to respond to simple explanations.
Responds to a simple boundary cue (“gentle hands”) by changing touch when an adult reminds them.
Joins tidy-up when given one clear job (“put the cars in the box”) and completes it with support.
Follows a familiar transition routine (coat on, line up) when the adult narrates the steps.
Secure
Usually follows key boundaries (safety, gentle hands, tidy-up) and participates in daily routines with minimal reminders across familiar settings. Accepts correction and can return to the activity without major escalation.
Anticipates a routine (goes to wash hands when told “snack time”) and completes it with minimal prompting.
Keeps to a known boundary (stays near caregiver at the park) and returns when called more often than not.
After a reminder, adjusts behaviour (quieter voice, walking feet) and continues play without a meltdown.
Reflexive
Applies boundaries flexibly across contexts, copes with routine changes, and may remind others of expected routines. Uses simple self-guidance (talking through steps) and seeks clarification when unsure.
Reminds a peer/sibling of a routine (“shoes on then outside”) and demonstrates the step.
Adjusts to a small routine change (different route, new order) by asking “what next?” rather than refusing.
Uses self-talk or gestures to guide themselves through steps (muttering “wash, dry” while handwashing).
