22–36 monthsSelf-RegulationPersonal, Social and Emotional Development: Managing feelings and behaviour
Can express their own feelings such as sad, happy, cross, scared, worried.
Observe whether the child: can express their own feelings such as sad, happy, cross, scared, worried.
What it looks like
Three ways this behaviour shows up as a child grows. Each level includes everyday moments to watch for.
Emerging
Just starting
Uses one or two simple feeling labels (or a gesture) inconsistently, often after an adult models the word. Emotion words may be overgeneralised (everything is “sad” or “mad”).
What you might see
When upset, only cries/screams or hits without using any feeling word or recognisable feeling signal beyond distress.
When asked “How do you feel?” cannot answer and may change the subject or repeat the question.
Shows distress at a fear trigger (loud noise) but cannot communicate “scared” even with options.
Repeats an adult feeling label (“sad”/“mad”) but does not use it independently later.
Uses one feeling word for many situations (e.g., says “cross” for tired, hungry, or disappointed).
Points to a feelings picture card correctly with support but struggles to say the word.
Expected
On track
Uses several feeling words (e.g., happy, sad, cross, scared, worried) in supported contexts and can sometimes link the feeling to a simple cause. May still need help to use words during intense emotion.
What you might see
Says “I’m cross” when a toy is taken, especially after an adult prompt to use words.
Says “scared” in a familiar context (dark room, loud vacuum) and moves closer to a caregiver.
Uses at least two different feeling words appropriately across a day (“happy” at play, “sad” at goodbye).
Exceeding
Going further
Spontaneously labels their feelings across everyday contexts and uses feeling words to seek help, negotiate, or explain behaviour. Can recognise and express “scared” or “worried” as well as “happy”/“sad”/“cross.”
What you might see
Spontaneously states a feeling and a simple reason (“I’m sad because you went”/“I’m worried about the dog”).
Uses feeling words to request support (“I’m scared—hold my hand”) instead of only crying.
After calming, can reflect briefly (“I was cross”) and return to play.
Chooses different feeling labels for different situations (e.g., “worried” before a new experience, “scared” during a sudden noise).
Uses language to self-regulate (“I’m cross—I need a hug”/“I’ll have a turn next”).
Helps another child label emotion with adult support (“He’s sad”) and offers a simple comfort action.
Try this at home
Small everyday moments where you can notice this behaviour without setting up anything special.
During story time, pause on a character’s face and ask: “Are they happy, sad, cross, scared, or worried?” Then ask: “How do you feel like that sometimes?”
When your child is upset, model: “You look cross.” Then offer: “Can you say ‘I’m cross’?” Notice whether they begin to use the words over time.
At bedtime, ask: “What made you happy today? What made you worried or scared?” Notice whether your child can name a feeling and a simple cause.
During transitions (leaving the park, separating), ask: “Are you sad or cross?” Observe whether your child can choose a label rather than only protesting.
Use a feelings chart in daily routines and notice whether your child points to or says a feeling word to communicate needs.
Connected behaviours
Behaviours that scaffold, follow, or co-emerge with this one.
The framework source and supporting developmental research.
Framework source
Development Matters in the EYFS (2012), Personal, Social and Emotional Development: Managing feelings and behaviour (22–36 months).
Emotion expression is specified as observable use of feeling words and communicative behaviours in the toddler band.
Developmental research
Bretherton, I., & Beeghly, M. (1982). Talking about internal states: The acquisition of an explicit theory of mind. Developmental Psychology, 18(6), 906–921.
Research on internal state language supports the developmental emergence of children’s ability to talk about feelings and other internal experiences in toddlerhood.
Five-level rubric (detailed)ShowHide
The full progression underlying the three levels above. Used by the platform’s reasoning agent when planning activities and observations.
Not Yet
Expresses feelings mainly through actions (crying, hitting, withdrawing) without using words or clear signals that identify the emotion. Adults must guess the feeling from behaviour and context.
When upset, only cries/screams or hits without using any feeling word or recognisable feeling signal beyond distress.
When asked “How do you feel?” cannot answer and may change the subject or repeat the question.
Shows distress at a fear trigger (loud noise) but cannot communicate “scared” even with options.
Emerging
Uses one or two simple feeling labels (or a gesture) inconsistently, often after an adult models the word. Emotion words may be overgeneralised (everything is “sad” or “mad”).
Repeats an adult feeling label (“sad”/“mad”) but does not use it independently later.
Uses one feeling word for many situations (e.g., says “cross” for tired, hungry, or disappointed).
Points to a feelings picture card correctly with support but struggles to say the word.
Developing
Uses several feeling words (e.g., happy, sad, cross, scared, worried) in supported contexts and can sometimes link the feeling to a simple cause. May still need help to use words during intense emotion.
Says “I’m cross” when a toy is taken, especially after an adult prompt to use words.
Says “scared” in a familiar context (dark room, loud vacuum) and moves closer to a caregiver.
Uses at least two different feeling words appropriately across a day (“happy” at play, “sad” at goodbye).
Secure
Spontaneously labels their feelings across everyday contexts and uses feeling words to seek help, negotiate, or explain behaviour. Can recognise and express “scared” or “worried” as well as “happy”/“sad”/“cross.”
Spontaneously states a feeling and a simple reason (“I’m sad because you went”/“I’m worried about the dog”).
Uses feeling words to request support (“I’m scared—hold my hand”) instead of only crying.
After calming, can reflect briefly (“I was cross”) and return to play.
Reflexive
Differentiates feelings more precisely and uses language to plan coping (“I’m worried—stay with me”). May help peers by suggesting feeling words or by reflecting on feelings after an event.
Chooses different feeling labels for different situations (e.g., “worried” before a new experience, “scared” during a sudden noise).
Uses language to self-regulate (“I’m cross—I need a hug”/“I’ll have a turn next”).
Helps another child label emotion with adult support (“He’s sad”) and offers a simple comfort action.
