“When {child_name} gets cross or upset, can {he_she} usually calm down with a bit of help — name what's wrong, wait, work towards what {he_she} wants?”
Follow-up: “Can {he_she} follow a small string of instructions at home, like 'go upstairs, fetch your jumper, and put it on'?”
Not yet
Big feelings take over; needs full adult co-regulation
Emerging
Names some feelings; sometimes waits with reminders
Developing
Often waits for what {he_she} wants; follows multi-step instructions with focus
Secure
Names own and others' feelings, regulates behaviour, follows instructions involving several steps
Naming feelings out loud — yours too — is the single most useful thing you can do.