Birth–11 monthsSelf-RegulationPersonal, Social and Emotional Development: Managing feelings and behaviour
Is comforted by touch and people’s faces and voices.
Observe whether the child: is comforted by touch and people’s faces and voices.
What it looks like
Three ways this behaviour shows up as a child grows. Each level includes everyday moments to watch for.
Emerging
Just starting
Shows brief signs of being comforted (pauses crying, looks toward face/voice) but the effect is short-lived or inconsistent. Often needs stronger/longer adult support to settle.
What you might see
When a caregiver speaks softly and offers gentle touch, remains highly distressed with no pause or softening of cry.
Turns face away or stiffens when a familiar adult tries to make eye contact or hold hands while upset.
Quietens for a few seconds when a caregiver appears and speaks, but quickly returns to crying if not picked up.
Looks at a familiar face while fussing, then resumes distress without settling further.
Expected
On track
Is comforted in familiar contexts: soft touch, eye contact, and a soothing voice noticeably reduce distress. Seeks or maintains contact (leans in, gazes) while calming.
What you might see
When the caregiver talks and strokes their back, crying reduces and breathing slows, even before being fully picked up.
Stops fussing to watch the caregiver’s face and relaxes body when the caregiver smiles and speaks.
Exceeding
Going further
Reliably calms in response to a familiar adult’s touch, face, and voice across everyday routines and minor upsets. Uses the adult’s presence/interaction to return to a regulated state and re-engage.
What you might see
After a bump/startle, seeks caregiver eye contact; quietens when the caregiver speaks softly and touches their shoulder/hand.
Settles during routine care (nappy change/coat) when the caregiver maintains a calm voice and face-to-face reassurance.
In a new place, periodically looks back to the caregiver’s face; relaxes and continues exploring after reassurance.
When tired, initiates closeness (reaches up, vocalises) and calms quickly once the caregiver responds with voice and touch.
Try this at home
Small everyday moments where you can notice this behaviour without setting up anything special.
During a fussy moment, try a calm, steady voice with close face-to-face contact before changing anything else. Notice whether your baby pauses, looks, or softens their cry.
At nappy changes, use the same soothing phrase/song each time. Notice whether your baby settles more quickly when they hear it and see your face.
In a slightly unfamiliar setting (relative’s home), watch whether your baby checks your face/voice and whether that helps them stay calm and curious.
After a minor surprise (door closing, loud noise), offer gentle touch and your voice. Notice whether your baby calms without needing to be moved immediately.
During feeding, pause and speak softly with eye contact. Notice whether your baby relaxes, smiles, or vocalises in response.
Connected behaviours
Behaviours that scaffold, follow, or co-emerge with this one.
The framework source and supporting developmental research.
Framework source
Development Matters in the EYFS (2012) (DM2012), Personal, Social and Emotional Development: Managing feelings and behaviour, birth-11 months.
The construct directly encodes a framework-native indicator of early regulation through responsive social contact (touch, face, voice).
Developmental research
Bowlby, J. (1969/1982). Attachment and Loss: Vol. 1. Attachment. Basic Books.
Attachment theory empirically grounds infants’ use of caregiver proximity and cues (voice/face/touch) as a primary pathway for distress regulation.
Five-level rubric (detailed)ShowHide
The full progression underlying the three levels above. Used by the platform’s reasoning agent when planning activities and observations.
Not Yet
Shows little calming response to gentle touch, a familiar face, or a soothing voice when distressed. May remain upset or appear disengaged even when an adult attempts to comfort.
When a caregiver speaks softly and offers gentle touch, remains highly distressed with no pause or softening of cry.
Turns face away or stiffens when a familiar adult tries to make eye contact or hold hands while upset.
Emerging
Shows brief signs of being comforted (pauses crying, looks toward face/voice) but the effect is short-lived or inconsistent. Often needs stronger/longer adult support to settle.
Quietens for a few seconds when a caregiver appears and speaks, but quickly returns to crying if not picked up.
Looks at a familiar face while fussing, then resumes distress without settling further.
Developing
Is comforted in familiar contexts: soft touch, eye contact, and a soothing voice noticeably reduce distress. Seeks or maintains contact (leans in, gazes) while calming.
When the caregiver talks and strokes their back, crying reduces and breathing slows, even before being fully picked up.
Stops fussing to watch the caregiver’s face and relaxes body when the caregiver smiles and speaks.
Secure
Reliably calms in response to a familiar adult’s touch, face, and voice across everyday routines and minor upsets. Uses the adult’s presence/interaction to return to a regulated state and re-engage.
After a bump/startle, seeks caregiver eye contact; quietens when the caregiver speaks softly and touches their shoulder/hand.
Settles during routine care (nappy change/coat) when the caregiver maintains a calm voice and face-to-face reassurance.
Reflexive
Uses face/voice contact proactively to regulate in new or busy environments (checks face, reaches, vocalises for interaction). May initiate calming social exchange (smiles, coos, turn-taking sounds) to maintain comfort and connection.
In a new place, periodically looks back to the caregiver’s face; relaxes and continues exploring after reassurance.
When tired, initiates closeness (reaches up, vocalises) and calms quickly once the caregiver responds with voice and touch.
