Birth–11 monthsSelf-RegulationPersonal, Social and Emotional Development: Managing feelings and behaviour
Seeks physical and emotional comfort by snuggling in to trusted adults.
Observe whether the child: seeks physical and emotional comfort by snuggling in to trusted adults.
What it looks like
Three ways this behaviour shows up as a child grows. Each level includes everyday moments to watch for.
Emerging
Just starting
Sometimes moves toward or quietens near a familiar adult, but snuggling/comfort-seeking is inconsistent or only occurs in limited routines. May accept holding but not actively seek it.
What you might see
When distressed, does not turn toward or reach for the caregiver, and continues crying even when the adult is close.
When picked up, stays stiff or pushes away rather than relaxing into the adult’s body.
Shows little difference in calmness whether held by a trusted adult or not.
Looks toward a familiar adult when upset, but does not move in or reach to be held.
Accepts being held in one routine (bedtime) but not in others (new room, after startle).
Leans in briefly, then pulls away while still fussing.
Expected
On track
In familiar contexts, actively seeks comfort by leaning in, nuzzling, or relaxing into a trusted adult when upset or tired. Comfort-seeking is observable and usually leads to reduced distress.
What you might see
When upset, reaches arms up and settles when brought close, resting head on adult’s shoulder.
Crawls or shuffles toward a trusted adult after a loud noise and presses body in close.
When tired, buries face into the adult’s chest and quietens.
Exceeding
Going further
Consistently uses trusted adults as a safe source of comfort: approaches or reaches to be picked up, snuggles in, and settles in a range of common situations. After comfort, can return to exploration or play.
What you might see
After a minor bump, quickly approaches a trusted adult, snuggles in, and calms within 1–2 minutes.
Uses the adult as a secure base: snuggles briefly, then returns to exploring toys nearby.
In a new place, stays close and seeks a cuddle when uncertain, then resumes play.
Signals early for comfort (reaches/whimpers) before full crying, and settles with brief contact.
Approaches the trusted adult even when another adult is present, showing selective comfort-seeking.
After reassurance, confidently moves away to explore while frequently checking back (look/return for quick snuggle).
Try this at home
Small everyday moments where you can notice this behaviour without setting up anything special.
After a small upset (startle, toy frustration), notice whether your baby moves toward you or reaches up to be held and whether they relax into a snuggle.
In a new place (different room/outdoors), observe whether your baby stays close, seeks contact, and then returns to exploring after reassurance.
At bedtime or nap time, notice whether your baby buries into you or rests their head/body close as a comfort signal.
When a familiar person enters and speaks softly, notice whether your baby leans in, smiles, and seeks closeness rather than staying distant.
If your baby is tired or overstimulated, observe whether a brief cuddle is enough to settle them and help them re-engage.
Connected behaviours
Behaviours that scaffold, follow, or co-emerge with this one.
The framework source and supporting developmental research.
Framework source
Development Matters in the Early Years Foundation Stage (Early Education, 2012) — Personal, Social and Emotional Development: Managing feelings and behaviour (birth–11 months).
Provides the EYFS observation statement on infants seeking comfort through closeness with trusted adults.
Developmental research
Ainsworth, M. D. S., Blehar, M. C., Waters, E., & Wall, S. (1978). Patterns of Attachment: A Psychological Study of the Strange Situation. Lawrence Erlbaum.
Empirically grounds infant comfort-seeking/proximity behaviours as part of attachment-related regulation and secure-base patterns.
Five-level rubric (detailed)ShowHide
The full progression underlying the three levels above. Used by the platform’s reasoning agent when planning activities and observations.
Not Yet
Does not yet show clear comfort-seeking by snuggling into a trusted adult when distressed or needing reassurance. May remain distressed without orienting toward the caregiver as a source of comfort.
When distressed, does not turn toward or reach for the caregiver, and continues crying even when the adult is close.
When picked up, stays stiff or pushes away rather than relaxing into the adult’s body.
Shows little difference in calmness whether held by a trusted adult or not.
Emerging
Sometimes moves toward or quietens near a familiar adult, but snuggling/comfort-seeking is inconsistent or only occurs in limited routines. May accept holding but not actively seek it.
Looks toward a familiar adult when upset, but does not move in or reach to be held.
Accepts being held in one routine (bedtime) but not in others (new room, after startle).
Leans in briefly, then pulls away while still fussing.
Developing
In familiar contexts, actively seeks comfort by leaning in, nuzzling, or relaxing into a trusted adult when upset or tired. Comfort-seeking is observable and usually leads to reduced distress.
When upset, reaches arms up and settles when brought close, resting head on adult’s shoulder.
Crawls or shuffles toward a trusted adult after a loud noise and presses body in close.
When tired, buries face into the adult’s chest and quietens.
Secure
Consistently uses trusted adults as a safe source of comfort: approaches or reaches to be picked up, snuggles in, and settles in a range of common situations. After comfort, can return to exploration or play.
After a minor bump, quickly approaches a trusted adult, snuggles in, and calms within 1–2 minutes.
Uses the adult as a secure base: snuggles briefly, then returns to exploring toys nearby.
In a new place, stays close and seeks a cuddle when uncertain, then resumes play.
Reflexive
Generalises comfort-seeking flexibly: seeks the most appropriate trusted adult, uses early signals (reaching, vocalising, crawling/walking over) before distress escalates, and can accept brief reassurance (cuddle, touch, voice) then re-engage. Comfort use supports both settling and confident exploration.
Signals early for comfort (reaches/whimpers) before full crying, and settles with brief contact.
Approaches the trusted adult even when another adult is present, showing selective comfort-seeking.
After reassurance, confidently moves away to explore while frequently checking back (look/return for quick snuggle).
