8–20 monthsBuilding RelationshipsPersonal, Social and Emotional Development: Making relationships
Seeks to gain attention in a variety of ways, drawing others into social interaction.
Observe whether the child: seeks to gain attention in a variety of ways, drawing others into social interaction.
What it looks like
Three ways this behaviour shows up as a child grows. Each level includes everyday moments to watch for.
Emerging
Just starting
The child occasionally seeks attention (sounds, brief gestures) but uses a narrow set of strategies and may become frustrated if not noticed quickly. Attempts may not clearly invite interaction (e.g., whining without looking at a person).
What you might see
The child plays quietly without looking up or checking for others’ attention for extended periods.
When wanting attention, the child becomes upset without directing the behaviour toward a person (no eye contact/approach).
The child does not show or bring objects to adults/children to share interest.
The child makes a loud sound but does not look toward a person to see if they noticed.
The child tugs at an adult once and then cries if the adult does not respond immediately.
The child briefly points toward something but drops the gesture quickly without checking for response.
Expected
On track
The child uses several age-appropriate ways to gain attention (looking, vocalising, pointing, showing objects, touching an adult) and can draw familiar people into brief social exchanges. They may still need support to wait or to persist appropriately.
What you might see
The child holds up a toy and looks at an adult as if to say “look,” waiting for a response.
The child approaches a familiar adult, taps their leg, and vocalises to gain attention.
The child brings an object over to a child nearby and looks at their face to invite interaction.
Exceeding
Going further
The child flexibly uses a range of strategies to gain attention and reliably initiates social interaction (showing, offering, calling, playful gestures) with both familiar adults and children. They can take turns in short interaction sequences (look–response–repeat).
What you might see
The child alternates gaze between an adult and a toy, vocalising to draw the adult into shared attention.
The child uses different ways to get noticed (calling “mummy,” waving, offering a toy) across the day.
The child repeats an attention-getting gesture (e.g., peekaboo face) and waits for the partner’s response to continue.
The child adjusts approach: quietly taps in a calm setting, calls out in a busy setting, then checks the partner’s face for response.
The child initiates with a peer by handing them a toy and making an inviting sound, then continues the exchange when the peer responds.
The child sustains a playful interaction for several turns (offer–response–repeat) without adult prompting.
Try this at home
Small everyday moments where you can notice this behaviour without setting up anything special.
During play, notice whether your child tries different ways to get your attention (showing a toy, pointing, calling, tapping you) and checks your face for a response.
At mealtime, pause before giving a preferred item—observe whether your child uses attention-getting strategies (eye contact, vocalising, reaching, pointing) to draw you in.
On an outing, watch whether your child points out interesting things (bus, dog) and looks back to see if you noticed too.
During bath time, notice whether your child uses playful strategies (splashing then looking, offering a toy) to start a back-and-forth interaction.
At a playgroup, observe whether your child tries to draw other children into interaction (offering an object, making a sound and waiting, moving closer and looking).
Connected behaviours
Behaviours that scaffold, follow, or co-emerge with this one.
The framework source and supporting developmental research.
Framework source
Development Matters in the EYFS (2012) — Personal, Social and Emotional Development: Making relationships (8–20 months).
The construct defines observable attention-seeking behaviours that support early social engagement and relationship building.
Developmental research
Vygotsky, L. S. (1978). Mind in Society.
Social interaction and contingent response are central mechanisms for early learning, making attention-seeking and engagement behaviours developmentally meaningful.
Five-level rubric (detailed)ShowHide
The full progression underlying the three levels above. Used by the platform’s reasoning agent when planning activities and observations.
Not Yet
The child rarely attempts to gain others’ attention and does not actively draw people into interaction; they may stay self-contained or rely on adults to initiate. Communication attempts for attention are minimal or unclear.
The child plays quietly without looking up or checking for others’ attention for extended periods.
When wanting attention, the child becomes upset without directing the behaviour toward a person (no eye contact/approach).
The child does not show or bring objects to adults/children to share interest.
Emerging
The child occasionally seeks attention (sounds, brief gestures) but uses a narrow set of strategies and may become frustrated if not noticed quickly. Attempts may not clearly invite interaction (e.g., whining without looking at a person).
The child makes a loud sound but does not look toward a person to see if they noticed.
The child tugs at an adult once and then cries if the adult does not respond immediately.
The child briefly points toward something but drops the gesture quickly without checking for response.
Developing
The child uses several age-appropriate ways to gain attention (looking, vocalising, pointing, showing objects, touching an adult) and can draw familiar people into brief social exchanges. They may still need support to wait or to persist appropriately.
The child holds up a toy and looks at an adult as if to say “look,” waiting for a response.
The child approaches a familiar adult, taps their leg, and vocalises to gain attention.
The child brings an object over to a child nearby and looks at their face to invite interaction.
Secure
The child flexibly uses a range of strategies to gain attention and reliably initiates social interaction (showing, offering, calling, playful gestures) with both familiar adults and children. They can take turns in short interaction sequences (look–response–repeat).
The child alternates gaze between an adult and a toy, vocalising to draw the adult into shared attention.
The child uses different ways to get noticed (calling “mummy,” waving, offering a toy) across the day.
The child repeats an attention-getting gesture (e.g., peekaboo face) and waits for the partner’s response to continue.
Reflexive
The child chooses strategies suited to the partner and situation (quiet tap vs. calling out, showing vs. handing) and sustains interaction through multiple turns. They may initiate with peers by offering objects/gestures that invite shared activity.
The child adjusts approach: quietly taps in a calm setting, calls out in a busy setting, then checks the partner’s face for response.
The child initiates with a peer by handing them a toy and making an inviting sound, then continues the exchange when the peer responds.
The child sustains a playful interaction for several turns (offer–response–repeat) without adult prompting.
