8–20 monthsBuilding RelationshipsPersonal, Social and Emotional Development: Making relationships
Plays alongside others.
Observe whether the child: plays alongside others.
What it looks like
Three ways this behaviour shows up as a child grows. Each level includes everyday moments to watch for.
Emerging
Just starting
The child can stay near others briefly but may look tense, clutch toys, or stop playing when a peer comes close. They may watch peers while holding back from playing in the same space.
What you might see
When another child sits near, the child immediately moves away with their toys or cries.
The child stops playing and clings to an adult when peers approach the play area.
The child pushes a peer away or repeatedly blocks access to the space even with adult support.
The child plays near a peer for a few seconds, then freezes or stops moving when the peer reaches for nearby items.
The child watches peers play but stays on the edge, holding a toy without joining the space.
The child remains beside peers only if an adult is holding them or sitting directly behind them.
Expected
On track
The child plays in the same area as other children with shared materials (e.g., sand, blocks) and stays engaged for short periods. They may still need adult support to manage closeness, sharing space, or small frustrations.
What you might see
In the sand/water tray, the child scoops or pours while another child plays next to them for 20–30 seconds.
The child sits at a table activity beside a peer and continues manipulating materials even when the peer makes noise.
The child stays in a shared block area and builds while another child builds nearby, with occasional glances.
Exceeding
Going further
The child comfortably plays alongside others for sustained periods, maintaining their own activity while co-existing peacefully in shared space. They can manage minor interruptions and continue play when peers are nearby.
What you might see
The child plays at the same activity station as two other children and remains engaged for several minutes.
If a peer bumps them lightly, the child repositions and continues playing without adult intervention.
The child continues play while peers move around, taking items, or adding items nearby (without melting down).
The child shifts slightly to make space for a peer and keeps playing in parallel.
The child hands a nearby child an item (e.g., a brick) without stopping their own activity.
The child notices a peer copying them and continues in a way that sustains the shared space (e.g., repeats an action for the peer to copy).
Try this at home
Small everyday moments where you can notice this behaviour without setting up anything special.
At a playground or playgroup, notice whether your child can stay in the same play area as other children (sandpit, slide queue) while continuing their own play.
At home, put out a basket of shared toys and sit nearby with another child/sibling—watch whether your child can play next to them without distress.
During a table activity (stickers, playdough), observe whether your child continues when another child sits close and uses similar materials.
On public transport or in a waiting room, offer a small toy—notice whether your child can play calmly while other children are close by.
In bath time with shared toys, watch whether your child can keep playing when you move a toy near them or when a sibling reaches in.
Connected behaviours
Behaviours that scaffold, follow, or co-emerge with this one.
The framework source and supporting developmental research.
Framework source
Development Matters in the EYFS (2012) — Personal, Social and Emotional Development: Making relationships (8–20 months).
Alongside play is framed as an observable step in early social participation within the EYFS progression.
Developmental research
Parten, M. B. (1932). Social participation among pre-school children.
Foundational descriptions of social play include parallel play as a developmental form that precedes and supports later cooperative play.
Five-level rubric (detailed)ShowHide
The full progression underlying the three levels above. Used by the platform’s reasoning agent when planning activities and observations.
Not Yet
The child rarely tolerates being near other children during play and may move away, protest, or become distressed when others come close. They do not maintain play when another child is alongside.
When another child sits near, the child immediately moves away with their toys or cries.
The child stops playing and clings to an adult when peers approach the play area.
The child pushes a peer away or repeatedly blocks access to the space even with adult support.
Emerging
The child can stay near others briefly but may look tense, clutch toys, or stop playing when a peer comes close. They may watch peers while holding back from playing in the same space.
The child plays near a peer for a few seconds, then freezes or stops moving when the peer reaches for nearby items.
The child watches peers play but stays on the edge, holding a toy without joining the space.
The child remains beside peers only if an adult is holding them or sitting directly behind them.
Developing
The child plays in the same area as other children with shared materials (e.g., sand, blocks) and stays engaged for short periods. They may still need adult support to manage closeness, sharing space, or small frustrations.
In the sand/water tray, the child scoops or pours while another child plays next to them for 20–30 seconds.
The child sits at a table activity beside a peer and continues manipulating materials even when the peer makes noise.
The child stays in a shared block area and builds while another child builds nearby, with occasional glances.
Secure
The child comfortably plays alongside others for sustained periods, maintaining their own activity while co-existing peacefully in shared space. They can manage minor interruptions and continue play when peers are nearby.
The child plays at the same activity station as two other children and remains engaged for several minutes.
If a peer bumps them lightly, the child repositions and continues playing without adult intervention.
The child continues play while peers move around, taking items, or adding items nearby (without melting down).
Reflexive
The child uses alongside play as a bridge to interaction: they adjust position/materials to coordinate space, occasionally offer items, and can smoothly move from playing alongside to brief shared play moments when opportunities arise.
The child shifts slightly to make space for a peer and keeps playing in parallel.
The child hands a nearby child an item (e.g., a brick) without stopping their own activity.
The child notices a peer copying them and continues in a way that sustains the shared space (e.g., repeats an action for the peer to copy).
