40–60 monthsManaging SelfPersonal, Social and Emotional Development: Self-confidence and self-awareness
Can describe self in positive terms and talk about abilities.
Observe whether the child: can describe self in positive terms and talk about abilities.
What it looks like
Three ways this behaviour shows up as a child grows. Each level includes everyday moments to watch for.
Emerging
Just starting
Can name a positive descriptor or ability when prompted, but statements are brief and inconsistent. May switch between positive and negative self-talk depending on mood or challenge level.
What you might see
Says "I can't" or "I'm bad" and stops before attempting a task, even when it is achievable with support.
When asked "What are you good at?" cannot name anything and looks away or shrugs.
Avoids showing their work or talking about it, especially if they think it might not be perfect.
After a prompt, says a single positive label (e.g., "I'm kind") but cannot give an example.
Says something positive only after adult praise (e.g., repeats "I'm good") and then drops it quickly.
Talks positively about one ability (e.g., running) but becomes negative in another (e.g., writing) without trying.
Expected
On track
Describes themselves in some positive terms and can talk about abilities in familiar areas (e.g., "I'm good at..."). Often needs a prompt to elaborate or to recognise improvement after effort.
What you might see
Says, "I'm good at puzzles" or "I can build tall towers" when asked, and shows pride in the activity.
Describes something they can do in a familiar routine (e.g., "I can put my coat on").
With prompting, recognises improvement: "I can do it now" after practising.
Exceeding
Going further
Spontaneously describes self positively and talks about abilities across contexts, including effort and progress. Can accept mistakes while maintaining a generally positive self-view.
What you might see
Spontaneously says, "I'm a good helper" or "I'm good at drawing" and gives an example.
After a mistake, says, "I'll try again" and continues without losing confidence.
Talks about effort and progress (e.g., "I practised and got better") in more than one context.
Sets a simple goal: "I'm practising writing my name" and notices progress over days/weeks.
Gives a peer positive feedback (e.g., "You're really good at that") and can say why.
Describes strengths and next steps together: "I'm good at building, and I'm learning to make it stronger."
Try this at home
Small everyday moments where you can notice this behaviour without setting up anything special.
After your child completes a task (drawing, puzzle, building), ask: "What did you do well?" and listen for positive self-description plus an example.
At bedtime, invite a short reflection: "Tell me one thing you were proud of today" and observe whether they can name an ability or strength.
When your child finds something hard, notice whether they use confident language ("I'll try again") or negative self-talk ("I can't").
During pretend play, ask: "What are you really good at in this game?" and see whether they talk about their abilities.
Connected behaviours
Behaviours that scaffold, follow, or co-emerge with this one.
The framework source and supporting developmental research.
Framework source
Development Matters in the EYFS (2012), Department for Education (DfE).
This construct is directly specified in DM2012 self-confidence and self-awareness guidance and is intended to be observed in everyday talk about self and learning.
Five-level rubric (detailed)ShowHide
The full progression underlying the three levels above. Used by the platform’s reasoning agent when planning activities and observations.
Not Yet
Rarely describes themselves positively and may use negative self-talk (e.g., "I'm not good"). Avoids talking about abilities or cannot name what they can do, even with prompting.
Says "I can't" or "I'm bad" and stops before attempting a task, even when it is achievable with support.
When asked "What are you good at?" cannot name anything and looks away or shrugs.
Avoids showing their work or talking about it, especially if they think it might not be perfect.
Emerging
Can name a positive descriptor or ability when prompted, but statements are brief and inconsistent. May switch between positive and negative self-talk depending on mood or challenge level.
After a prompt, says a single positive label (e.g., "I'm kind") but cannot give an example.
Says something positive only after adult praise (e.g., repeats "I'm good") and then drops it quickly.
Talks positively about one ability (e.g., running) but becomes negative in another (e.g., writing) without trying.
Developing
Describes themselves in some positive terms and can talk about abilities in familiar areas (e.g., "I'm good at..."). Often needs a prompt to elaborate or to recognise improvement after effort.
Says, "I'm good at puzzles" or "I can build tall towers" when asked, and shows pride in the activity.
Describes something they can do in a familiar routine (e.g., "I can put my coat on").
With prompting, recognises improvement: "I can do it now" after practising.
Secure
Spontaneously describes self positively and talks about abilities across contexts, including effort and progress. Can accept mistakes while maintaining a generally positive self-view.
Spontaneously says, "I'm a good helper" or "I'm good at drawing" and gives an example.
After a mistake, says, "I'll try again" and continues without losing confidence.
Talks about effort and progress (e.g., "I practised and got better") in more than one context.
Reflexive
Reflects on strengths and learning over time, sets simple goals, and uses confident language to encourage self and others. Can describe abilities flexibly (what they can do now, what they are practising) and may support peers with positive feedback.
Sets a simple goal: "I'm practising writing my name" and notices progress over days/weeks.
Gives a peer positive feedback (e.g., "You're really good at that") and can say why.
Describes strengths and next steps together: "I'm good at building, and I'm learning to make it stronger."
