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30–50 monthsBuilding Relationships

Initiates conversations, attends to and takes account of what others say.

Observe whether the child: initiates conversations, attends to and takes account of what others say.

What it looks like

Three ways this behaviour shows up as a child grows. Each level includes everyday moments to watch for.

Emerging

Just starting

Initiates with single comments or requests, but attending is brief; may not respond to what others say or may switch topic quickly.

What you might see

  • When spoken to, does not respond or continues their activity without looking or pausing.
  • Interrupts repeatedly or speaks over others without waiting for a turn.
  • Talks in a monologue that does not change when the other person replies.
  • Says 'look!' or makes a comment, but walks away before the other person can respond.
  • Answers a question once, then changes topic immediately.
  • Initiates mainly to request items ('mine', 'give') and does not respond to conversation beyond the request.

Expected

On track

In familiar contexts, starts short back-and-forth conversations and shows some listening (pauses, answers) with support to stay on topic.

What you might see

  • Starts a conversation with a familiar adult ('I made this') and answers one follow-up question.
  • Pauses when a peer speaks and gives a short relevant reply ('Yes', 'No', 'There').
  • With an adult prompt, asks a simple question back ('What you doing?') and waits briefly.

Exceeding

Going further

Regularly initiates conversation with peers and adults and takes account of replies (answers, asks follow-up, changes action based on what was said).

What you might see

  • Initiates with a peer ('Want to play?') and responds to their answer by changing what they do (moves over, gets a prop).
  • Shows listening by referencing what was said ('You said it's your turn, so I wait').
  • Asks a relevant follow-up question after a reply ('Where did you go?') and stays for another turn.
  • Clarifies meaning when unsure ('Do you mean this one or that one?') instead of guessing or grabbing.
  • Keeps a conversation going for several turns by adding detail and asking linked questions.
  • In a small group, notices who has not spoken and invites them in ('What do you think?').

Try this at home

Small everyday moments where you can notice this behaviour without setting up anything special.

  • At mealtime, start a simple conversation about the day and notice whether your child asks a follow-up question and responds to your answer.

  • During a walk, pause to talk about what you can see; notice whether your child initiates a comment and then waits for your response.

  • During play, intentionally make a small mistake (put the wrong piece) and notice whether your child listens to your explanation and adjusts their plan.

  • During story time, ask your child a question about the picture; notice whether they answer and then add their own related comment or question.

  • During a playdate, notice whether your child changes what they do based on what a peer says ('No, I'm building here' -> child moves and joins).

Connected behaviours

Behaviours that scaffold, follow, or co-emerge with this one.

Where this comes from

The framework source and supporting developmental research.

Framework source

  • Development Matters in the EYFS (2012) (DM2012), Personal, Social and Emotional Development: Making relationships.

    This construct is a framework-native observable behaviour statement intended for formative assessment within the EYFS developmental continuum.

Five-level rubric (detailed)Show

The full progression underlying the three levels above. Used by the platform’s reasoning agent when planning activities and observations.

Not Yet
Rarely initiates conversation and often does not attend to others' speech; may talk over others, ignore replies, or stay silent in social moments.
  • When spoken to, does not respond or continues their activity without looking or pausing.
  • Interrupts repeatedly or speaks over others without waiting for a turn.
  • Talks in a monologue that does not change when the other person replies.
Emerging
Initiates with single comments or requests, but attending is brief; may not respond to what others say or may switch topic quickly.
  • Says 'look!' or makes a comment, but walks away before the other person can respond.
  • Answers a question once, then changes topic immediately.
  • Initiates mainly to request items ('mine', 'give') and does not respond to conversation beyond the request.
Developing
In familiar contexts, starts short back-and-forth conversations and shows some listening (pauses, answers) with support to stay on topic.
  • Starts a conversation with a familiar adult ('I made this') and answers one follow-up question.
  • Pauses when a peer speaks and gives a short relevant reply ('Yes', 'No', 'There').
  • With an adult prompt, asks a simple question back ('What you doing?') and waits briefly.
Secure
Regularly initiates conversation with peers and adults and takes account of replies (answers, asks follow-up, changes action based on what was said).
  • Initiates with a peer ('Want to play?') and responds to their answer by changing what they do (moves over, gets a prop).
  • Shows listening by referencing what was said ('You said it's your turn, so I wait').
  • Asks a relevant follow-up question after a reply ('Where did you go?') and stays for another turn.
Reflexive
Manages conversation flexibly (turn-taking, clarification, follow-up questions), including in small groups, and helps keep communication inclusive and cooperative.
  • Clarifies meaning when unsure ('Do you mean this one or that one?') instead of guessing or grabbing.
  • Keeps a conversation going for several turns by adding detail and asking linked questions.
  • In a small group, notices who has not spoken and invites them in ('What do you think?').