30–50 monthsBuilding RelationshipsPersonal, Social and Emotional Development: Making relationships
Demonstrates friendly behaviour, initiating conversations and forming good relationships with peers and familiar adults.
Observe whether the child: demonstrates friendly behaviour, initiating conversations and forming good relationships with peers and familiar adults.
What it looks like
Three ways this behaviour shows up as a child grows. Each level includes everyday moments to watch for.
Emerging
Just starting
Shows friendly behaviour sometimes (smiles, says hello) but initiating conversation and sustaining relationships is inconsistent and depends on mood/context.
What you might see
Does not greet familiar adults/peers and may turn away when spoken to.
Stays on the edge of group play without approaching or responding to invitations.
If a peer speaks to them, does not reply or walks away without acknowledging.
Greets someone ('hi') but does not continue the interaction or make eye contact.
Joins play briefly when invited, then leaves quickly without explanation.
Initiates contact by touching/grabbing rather than using friendly words.
Expected
On track
In familiar settings, initiates brief friendly interactions with peers and familiar adults and can maintain positive contact with support (prompts to share/turn-take).
What you might see
Approaches a familiar peer with a simple friendly opener ('come play') when prompted or in a known game.
Uses polite routines with support (says 'please/thank you' or 'sorry' after an adult cue).
Plays alongside a peer cooperatively for a short period and returns to them later.
Exceeding
Going further
Regularly initiates friendly conversation and cooperative play, showing warmth and reliability across routines; maintains positive relationships with peers and familiar adults.
What you might see
Initiates conversations with peers/adults ('What you doing?', 'Can I play?') and waits for the answer.
Shows friendly actions that build relationships (shares a prop, offers a role, checks on someone).
Has several familiar peers/adults they interact with positively across days (approaches them, smiles, talks).
Notices when someone is left out and invites them in ('You can be the baby too').
Adjusts approach for different people (uses quieter voice with a shy peer, uses clearer words with an adult).
After a misunderstanding, repairs quickly (explains, apologises, suggests a new plan) and returns to friendly play.
Try this at home
Small everyday moments where you can notice this behaviour without setting up anything special.
At arrival (nursery, playground, family gathering), notice whether your child greets familiar people and starts a short conversation without prompting.
During free play, watch whether your child invites a peer into play using friendly words ('come', 'you be...') rather than grabbing.
At the park, notice whether your child can approach an unfamiliar child kindly (smile, question, offer a toy) and cope if the child says no.
During a shared activity (craft/cooking), notice whether your child uses friendly turn-taking language ('after you', 'can I have a turn?').
After a small social bump (accidental knock, toy dispute), notice whether your child attempts repair (checks, says sorry, offers help) and returns to play.
Connected behaviours
Behaviours that scaffold, follow, or co-emerge with this one.
The framework source and supporting developmental research.
Framework source
Development Matters in the EYFS (2012) (DM2012), Personal, Social and Emotional Development: Making relationships.
This construct is a framework-native observable behaviour statement intended for formative assessment within the EYFS developmental continuum.
Five-level rubric (detailed)ShowHide
The full progression underlying the three levels above. Used by the platform’s reasoning agent when planning activities and observations.
Not Yet
Rarely shows friendly approaches; may ignore others, avoid interaction, or rely on adults to manage social contact.
Does not greet familiar adults/peers and may turn away when spoken to.
Stays on the edge of group play without approaching or responding to invitations.
If a peer speaks to them, does not reply or walks away without acknowledging.
Emerging
Shows friendly behaviour sometimes (smiles, says hello) but initiating conversation and sustaining relationships is inconsistent and depends on mood/context.
Greets someone ('hi') but does not continue the interaction or make eye contact.
Joins play briefly when invited, then leaves quickly without explanation.
Initiates contact by touching/grabbing rather than using friendly words.
Developing
In familiar settings, initiates brief friendly interactions with peers and familiar adults and can maintain positive contact with support (prompts to share/turn-take).
Approaches a familiar peer with a simple friendly opener ('come play') when prompted or in a known game.
Uses polite routines with support (says 'please/thank you' or 'sorry' after an adult cue).
Plays alongside a peer cooperatively for a short period and returns to them later.
Secure
Regularly initiates friendly conversation and cooperative play, showing warmth and reliability across routines; maintains positive relationships with peers and familiar adults.
Initiates conversations with peers/adults ('What you doing?', 'Can I play?') and waits for the answer.
Shows friendly actions that build relationships (shares a prop, offers a role, checks on someone).
Has several familiar peers/adults they interact with positively across days (approaches them, smiles, talks).
Reflexive
Adapts friendly behaviour across new contexts, includes others (especially those left out), and repairs minor social misunderstandings to keep relationships positive.
Notices when someone is left out and invites them in ('You can be the baby too').
Adjusts approach for different people (uses quieter voice with a shy peer, uses clearer words with an adult).
After a misunderstanding, repairs quickly (explains, apologises, suggests a new plan) and returns to friendly play.
