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Birth–11 monthsBuilding Relationships

Enjoys the company of others and seeks contact with others from birth.

Observe whether the child: enjoys the company of others and seeks contact with others from birth.

What it looks like

Three ways this behaviour shows up as a child grows. Each level includes everyday moments to watch for.

Emerging

Just starting

The child sometimes brightens to people and voices and may tolerate brief interaction, but does not consistently seek contact.

What you might see

  • When an adult comes close and speaks gently, the child shows little change in facial expression or body activity.
  • The child does not orient toward nearby voices and does not attempt to look toward faces within 5 seconds.
  • During routine care (feed/change), the child stays disengaged and does not reach/lean toward the adult.
  • The child briefly looks toward a face or voice, then quickly looks away or returns to self-focused activity.
  • A short smile or coo appears with a familiar adult, but the child does not reach or lean in consistently.
  • The child tolerates being held or talked to for a moment, but shows little active bid for contact.

Expected

On track

The child shows clear enjoyment of familiar people, seeks proximity (turns toward, reaches, leans in), and engages for short periods in everyday routines.

What you might see

  • When a familiar adult enters, the child turns toward them and shows a clear brightening (smile/alert eyes).
  • The child reaches up, leans in, or moves their body toward a familiar adult during pick-up moments.
  • The child vocalizes or makes expressive sounds directed toward a person (not just to self) during interaction.

Exceeding

Going further

The child actively seeks contact with trusted adults (smiles, vocalizes, reaches, crawls toward), and shows pleasure in shared interaction across contexts.

What you might see

  • The child repeatedly initiates contact (reaches, crawls toward, lifts arms) when a trusted adult is nearby.
  • The child smiles or laughs during shared play and stays engaged for at least 30–60 seconds.
  • If the adult pauses, the child attempts to re-engage (looks to face, vocalizes, touches the adult).
  • The child alternates between independent exploration and returning to a familiar adult for brief social contact (check-ins).
  • The child uses multiple bids to connect (looks, vocalizes, reaches) if the first bid is missed.
  • The child shows warm engagement with another familiar adult (e.g., grandparent/key person) while still preferring the main carer.

Try this at home

Small everyday moments where you can notice this behaviour without setting up anything special.

  • During a calm awake period, sit face-to-face and pause your talking; notice whether your baby tries to re-start interaction (looks to your face, vocalizes, reaches).

  • When you enter the room after a short absence, observe whether your baby turns toward you, brightens, and seeks contact (arms up, leaning in, crawling).

  • During play on the floor, move a little away and see whether your baby follows you with gaze/body or comes closer for contact.

  • At bath time or nappy change, notice whether your baby looks for your face and responds positively to your voice and touch.

  • When another familiar adult engages your baby, observe whether your baby can enjoy the interaction and seek contact with them too.

Connected behaviours

Behaviours that scaffold, follow, or co-emerge with this one.

Where this comes from

The framework source and supporting developmental research.

Framework source

  • Development Matters in the EYFS (2012), Personal, Social and Emotional Development: Making relationships (birth–11 months).

    The framework identifies early contact-seeking and enjoyment of others as core observable relationship-building behaviors.

Developmental research

  • Bowlby (1969/1982), Attachment and Loss: Vol. 1 Attachment.

    Attachment theory frames proximity-seeking and contact-maintaining behaviors as foundational early social systems.

Five-level rubric (detailed)Show

The full progression underlying the three levels above. Used by the platform’s reasoning agent when planning activities and observations.

Not Yet
The child shows limited interest in people nearby and rarely seeks interaction or contact; engagement with others is minimal or fleeting.
  • When an adult comes close and speaks gently, the child shows little change in facial expression or body activity.
  • The child does not orient toward nearby voices and does not attempt to look toward faces within 5 seconds.
  • During routine care (feed/change), the child stays disengaged and does not reach/lean toward the adult.
Emerging
The child sometimes brightens to people and voices and may tolerate brief interaction, but does not consistently seek contact.
  • The child briefly looks toward a face or voice, then quickly looks away or returns to self-focused activity.
  • A short smile or coo appears with a familiar adult, but the child does not reach or lean in consistently.
  • The child tolerates being held or talked to for a moment, but shows little active bid for contact.
Developing
The child shows clear enjoyment of familiar people, seeks proximity (turns toward, reaches, leans in), and engages for short periods in everyday routines.
  • When a familiar adult enters, the child turns toward them and shows a clear brightening (smile/alert eyes).
  • The child reaches up, leans in, or moves their body toward a familiar adult during pick-up moments.
  • The child vocalizes or makes expressive sounds directed toward a person (not just to self) during interaction.
Secure
The child actively seeks contact with trusted adults (smiles, vocalizes, reaches, crawls toward), and shows pleasure in shared interaction across contexts.
  • The child repeatedly initiates contact (reaches, crawls toward, lifts arms) when a trusted adult is nearby.
  • The child smiles or laughs during shared play and stays engaged for at least 30–60 seconds.
  • If the adult pauses, the child attempts to re-engage (looks to face, vocalizes, touches the adult).
Reflexive
The child initiates and maintains social contact flexibly (uses looks, sounds, and gestures to re-start interaction), and can engage warmly with more than one familiar person while still showing a clear main-carer preference.
  • The child alternates between independent exploration and returning to a familiar adult for brief social contact (check-ins).
  • The child uses multiple bids to connect (looks, vocalizes, reaches) if the first bid is missed.
  • The child shows warm engagement with another familiar adult (e.g., grandparent/key person) while still preferring the main carer.