Birth–11 monthsSelf-RegulationPersonal, Social and Emotional Development: Managing feelings and behaviour
Beginning to understand ‘yes’, ‘no’ and some boundaries.
Observe whether the child: beginning to understand ‘yes’, ‘no’ and some boundaries.
What it looks like
Three ways this behaviour shows up as a child grows. Each level includes everyday moments to watch for.
Emerging
Just starting
Sometimes pauses, looks, or hesitates when hearing “no” or seeing a boundary cue (hand up, firm tone), but the effect is brief and inconsistent. Understanding appears in a narrow set of familiar routines.
What you might see
When the adult says “no” and blocks gently, the baby continues reaching without pausing or looking up.
Shows no change in behaviour when hearing a consistent “stop” cue paired with a hand signal.
Immediately repeats the same reach/action after being redirected.
Pauses for a moment when hearing “no,” then resumes reaching unless physically prevented.
Looks at the adult’s face after a boundary cue, but does not stop the action consistently.
Responds in one routine (e.g., “no biting” during feeding) but not in other situations.
Expected
On track
Shows clearer comprehension of simple “yes/no” and a few boundaries in familiar contexts, especially with gestures and repetition (stops reaching, waits briefly, redirects with help). Still needs close adult support to maintain the boundary.
What you might see
Stops reaching briefly when the adult says “no” and shows a hand signal, then accepts a different object offered.
Waits a short moment at a doorway or before being picked up when the adult says “wait” with gesture.
Withdraws hand from an object after a firm “no” paired with repositioning and redirection.
Exceeding
Going further
Consistently responds to a small set of boundaries and “yes/no” cues across common contexts: pauses, looks to the adult, and often stops or redirects with minimal prompting. Begins to anticipate routines that signal boundaries (e.g., wait at door).
What you might see
Consistently pauses and looks to the adult when hearing “no,” and usually stops the action with a second cue.
Responds to “yes” (encouraging tone) by moving toward the offered object/person, showing discrimination between cues.
Begins to predict boundaries in routines (slows before stairs, waits when adult holds up hand).
In a new environment, hesitates and checks the adult’s face/gesture before touching unfamiliar items.
Accepts a simple limit (no/stop) and shifts attention to an alternative with little distress.
Uses a gesture/vocalisation as if asking permission (looks, reaches, pauses) before acting.
Try this at home
Small everyday moments where you can notice this behaviour without setting up anything special.
Home routine: Choose one consistent boundary cue (e.g., “no/stop” + hand up) and notice whether your baby pauses or looks to you before continuing.
Transitions: At the doorway or stairs, say “wait” with a stop hand—observe whether your baby can pause even briefly before moving.
Play: Offer two objects and use “yes” for one and “no” for the other—notice whether your baby begins to discriminate your tone/gesture and adjusts reaching.
Safety: When your baby reaches for something unsafe, gently block and say “no”—observe whether their hand withdraws more quickly over time.
Caregiving: During dressing or nappy changes, use “all done/no more” consistently—notice whether your baby shows early understanding (pauses, settles, stops grabbing).
Connected behaviours
Behaviours that scaffold, follow, or co-emerge with this one.
The framework source and supporting developmental research.
Framework source
Development Matters in the Early Years Foundation Stage (Early Education, 2012) — Personal, Social and Emotional Development: Managing feelings and behaviour (birth–11 months).
Provides the EYFS observation statement for early understanding of boundaries via simple cues.
Developmental research
Kopp, C. B. (1982). Antecedents of self-regulation: A developmental perspective. Developmental Psychology, 18(2), 199–214.
Frames early compliance/inhibitory control as emerging under adult guidance and becoming increasingly organised through infancy and toddlerhood.
Five-level rubric (detailed)ShowHide
The full progression underlying the three levels above. Used by the platform’s reasoning agent when planning activities and observations.
Not Yet
Does not yet show reliable behavioural change to simple “yes/no” cues or boundary signals; responses are primarily driven by immediate interest or reflex. Adult must manage boundaries through environment and physical support.
When the adult says “no” and blocks gently, the baby continues reaching without pausing or looking up.
Shows no change in behaviour when hearing a consistent “stop” cue paired with a hand signal.
Immediately repeats the same reach/action after being redirected.
Emerging
Sometimes pauses, looks, or hesitates when hearing “no” or seeing a boundary cue (hand up, firm tone), but the effect is brief and inconsistent. Understanding appears in a narrow set of familiar routines.
Pauses for a moment when hearing “no,” then resumes reaching unless physically prevented.
Looks at the adult’s face after a boundary cue, but does not stop the action consistently.
Responds in one routine (e.g., “no biting” during feeding) but not in other situations.
Developing
Shows clearer comprehension of simple “yes/no” and a few boundaries in familiar contexts, especially with gestures and repetition (stops reaching, waits briefly, redirects with help). Still needs close adult support to maintain the boundary.
Stops reaching briefly when the adult says “no” and shows a hand signal, then accepts a different object offered.
Waits a short moment at a doorway or before being picked up when the adult says “wait” with gesture.
Withdraws hand from an object after a firm “no” paired with repositioning and redirection.
Secure
Consistently responds to a small set of boundaries and “yes/no” cues across common contexts: pauses, looks to the adult, and often stops or redirects with minimal prompting. Begins to anticipate routines that signal boundaries (e.g., wait at door).
Consistently pauses and looks to the adult when hearing “no,” and usually stops the action with a second cue.
Responds to “yes” (encouraging tone) by moving toward the offered object/person, showing discrimination between cues.
Begins to predict boundaries in routines (slows before stairs, waits when adult holds up hand).
Reflexive
Generalises early boundary understanding across settings and caregivers: uses cues to guide behaviour (stops, waits, returns) and can accept brief limits with less escalation. May use early communication (gesture/vocalisation) to check permission before acting.
In a new environment, hesitates and checks the adult’s face/gesture before touching unfamiliar items.
Accepts a simple limit (no/stop) and shifts attention to an alternative with little distress.
Uses a gesture/vocalisation as if asking permission (looks, reaches, pauses) before acting.
