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22–36 monthsBuilding Relationships

May form a special friendship with another child.

Observe whether the child: may form a special friendship with another child.

What it looks like

Three ways this behaviour shows up as a child grows. Each level includes everyday moments to watch for.

Emerging

Just starting

Shows occasional preference (stands near the same child or watches them) but connection is inconsistent and not yet a repeated, warm pattern.

What you might see

  • Moves between peers without returning to the same child, or prefers to play alone when peers approach.
  • Shows little reaction when a familiar peer arrives or leaves.
  • If a peer tries to join, the child walks away or continues without acknowledging them.
  • Often watches or stays near one particular child but does not join in for long.
  • Smiles at a familiar child but quickly returns to solitary play.
  • Sometimes chooses to sit next to the same child at snack/story but does not sustain interaction.

Expected

On track

Shows a repeated preference for one child in familiar settings (seeks them out, plays near/with them) with adult support to maintain positive interaction.

What you might see

  • Looks for or goes to the same child on arrival, especially in a familiar setting.
  • Brings a toy to a particular child or offers it briefly, especially with an adult prompt.
  • Plays alongside/with the same child for a few minutes, then returns to them again later.

Exceeding

Going further

Regularly seeks out a particular child and shares enjoyable play with them (stays close, shares attention, returns to them across sessions), showing warmth and familiarity.

What you might see

  • Regularly seeks the same child to play with and stays close during play.
  • Shows shared enjoyment with that child (laughs together, copies each other, takes turns with an object).
  • When separated (one moves away), the child follows or looks for the friend soon after.
  • Invites the friend into play (patting a space, calling their name, handing them a role/object).
  • Recovers after small disagreements with the friend (offers back a toy, suggests 'together', returns to play).
  • Keeps the friendship going while also tolerating the friend playing with others (waits nearby, joins later without distress).

Try this at home

Small everyday moments where you can notice this behaviour without setting up anything special.

  • At the playground or a playdate, notice whether your child repeatedly chooses the same child to stand near or play with across the session.

  • During arrival (nursery, group class), notice whether your child looks for a particular child and moves towards them without prompting.

  • Watch a short 2-3 minute play moment and notice whether your child and the same peer share toys or take turns with a preferred item.

  • If the preferred peer moves away, notice whether your child follows, looks for them, or brings something to rejoin them later.

  • After a small upset between the two children (toy dispute), notice whether your child returns to the peer and resumes friendly play with support.

Connected behaviours

Behaviours that scaffold, follow, or co-emerge with this one.

Where this comes from

The framework source and supporting developmental research.

Framework source

  • Development Matters in the EYFS (2012) (DM2012), Personal, Social and Emotional Development: Making relationships.

    This construct is a framework-native observable behaviour statement intended for formative assessment within the EYFS developmental continuum.

Five-level rubric (detailed)Show

The full progression underlying the three levels above. Used by the platform’s reasoning agent when planning activities and observations.

Not Yet
Does not show a clear preference for playing with a particular child; interactions with peers are brief, mostly parallel, or avoidant.
  • Moves between peers without returning to the same child, or prefers to play alone when peers approach.
  • Shows little reaction when a familiar peer arrives or leaves.
  • If a peer tries to join, the child walks away or continues without acknowledging them.
Emerging
Shows occasional preference (stands near the same child or watches them) but connection is inconsistent and not yet a repeated, warm pattern.
  • Often watches or stays near one particular child but does not join in for long.
  • Smiles at a familiar child but quickly returns to solitary play.
  • Sometimes chooses to sit next to the same child at snack/story but does not sustain interaction.
Developing
Shows a repeated preference for one child in familiar settings (seeks them out, plays near/with them) with adult support to maintain positive interaction.
  • Looks for or goes to the same child on arrival, especially in a familiar setting.
  • Brings a toy to a particular child or offers it briefly, especially with an adult prompt.
  • Plays alongside/with the same child for a few minutes, then returns to them again later.
Secure
Regularly seeks out a particular child and shares enjoyable play with them (stays close, shares attention, returns to them across sessions), showing warmth and familiarity.
  • Regularly seeks the same child to play with and stays close during play.
  • Shows shared enjoyment with that child (laughs together, copies each other, takes turns with an object).
  • When separated (one moves away), the child follows or looks for the friend soon after.
Reflexive
Maintains the friendship with flexible, prosocial behaviours (invites the friend, shares, repairs small upsets) and can extend the relationship to new contexts while still engaging with others.
  • Invites the friend into play (patting a space, calling their name, handing them a role/object).
  • Recovers after small disagreements with the friend (offers back a toy, suggests 'together', returns to play).
  • Keeps the friendship going while also tolerating the friend playing with others (waits nearby, joins later without distress).