Observe whether the child: beginning to have their own friends.
What it looks like
Three ways this behaviour shows up as a child grows. Each level includes everyday moments to watch for.
Emerging
Just starting
The child watches other children and may approach briefly or play alongside them, but connections are short-lived. The child may tolerate a familiar peer nearby without actively seeking them out.
What you might see
Plays away from other children even when a peer offers a toy or sits nearby.
Moves away or becomes upset when another child attempts to join their play space.
Shows no clear excitement when a familiar peer arrives (no approach, smile, or vocalisation).
Watches other children play and follows them for a moment, then returns to solitary play.
Plays alongside a peer with similar toys (parallel play) for a short period without conflict.
Accepts a familiar child sitting close, but rarely initiates interaction.
Expected
On track
The child sometimes seeks out a particular child and shows clear positive emotion when that peer is present. With adult support, the child can engage in simple shared play moments (offering, copying, brief turns).
What you might see
Walks toward a particular child at drop-off/park and stays near them by choice.
Offers a toy to a peer after an adult models 'give to your friend'.
Copies a peer's simple action (pushing a car, banging a drum) and looks to the peer for a response.
Exceeding
Going further
The child regularly chooses to be with one or more familiar peers, initiates contact (offers a toy, gestures, uses a name), and sustains short shared play. The child manages minor friendship conflicts with adult guidance.
What you might see
Calls a peer by name (or uses a consistent label) and brings an item to start play.
Attempts a simple turn-taking routine (rolls a ball back and forth) with brief adult support.
Shows distress when a friend leaves but is able to re-engage with play after reassurance.
Looks for a specific peer in a new setting and happily re-joins them without adult prompting.
Invites another child into a friend play moment (hands them a block, pats space to sit).
After a small conflict, returns to play with the peer (offers an object or follows their lead) with minimal adult input.
Try this at home
Small everyday moments where you can notice this behaviour without setting up anything special.
At the park, notice whether your child repeatedly chooses to play near the same child or returns to them after exploring.
During a playdate, watch for initiation: does your child offer a toy, gesture 'come', or try to copy a peer to connect?
In a transition (leaving nursery/playgroup), notice whether your child looks for or says goodbye to specific children.
During snack time with others, observe whether your child shares space and items more easily with a familiar peer than with others.
When a small conflict happens (both want the same toy), notice whether your child can re-engage with the peer after adult support.
Connected behaviours
Behaviours that scaffold, follow, or co-emerge with this one.
The framework source and supporting developmental research.
Framework source
Development Matters in the Early Years Foundation Stage (EYFS) (DfE, 2012).
The construct is an EYFS framework-native observation statement describing early peer relationship formation.
Developmental research
Vygotsky, L. S. (1978). Mind in Society: The Development of Higher Psychological Processes.
Peer interaction provides a context for social learning and emerging self-regulation, supporting early friendship behaviours.
Five-level rubric (detailed)ShowHide
The full progression underlying the three levels above. Used by the platform’s reasoning agent when planning activities and observations.
Not Yet
The child mostly plays alone and does not show a preference for being near particular peers. Approaches to other children are rare or quickly end in withdrawal or distress.
Plays away from other children even when a peer offers a toy or sits nearby.
Moves away or becomes upset when another child attempts to join their play space.
Shows no clear excitement when a familiar peer arrives (no approach, smile, or vocalisation).
Emerging
The child watches other children and may approach briefly or play alongside them, but connections are short-lived. The child may tolerate a familiar peer nearby without actively seeking them out.
Watches other children play and follows them for a moment, then returns to solitary play.
Plays alongside a peer with similar toys (parallel play) for a short period without conflict.
Accepts a familiar child sitting close, but rarely initiates interaction.
Developing
The child sometimes seeks out a particular child and shows clear positive emotion when that peer is present. With adult support, the child can engage in simple shared play moments (offering, copying, brief turns).
Walks toward a particular child at drop-off/park and stays near them by choice.
Offers a toy to a peer after an adult models 'give to your friend'.
Copies a peer's simple action (pushing a car, banging a drum) and looks to the peer for a response.
Secure
The child regularly chooses to be with one or more familiar peers, initiates contact (offers a toy, gestures, uses a name), and sustains short shared play. The child manages minor friendship conflicts with adult guidance.
Calls a peer by name (or uses a consistent label) and brings an item to start play.
Attempts a simple turn-taking routine (rolls a ball back and forth) with brief adult support.
Shows distress when a friend leaves but is able to re-engage with play after reassurance.
Reflexive
The child maintains early friendships across settings and can include others by inviting them into play or sharing resources. The child shows early empathy toward friends (comforting, checking in) and recovers quickly after small disputes.
Looks for a specific peer in a new setting and happily re-joins them without adult prompting.
Invites another child into a friend play moment (hands them a block, pats space to sit).
After a small conflict, returns to play with the peer (offers an object or follows their lead) with minimal adult input.
