expresses feelings and needs during familiar peer or adult interactions
Observe whether the child: expresses feelings and needs during familiar peer or adult interactions.
What it looks like
Three ways this behaviour shows up as a child grows. Each level includes everyday moments to watch for.
Emerging
Just starting
In a predictable moment, the child tries to communicate feelings or needs before the moment escalates. The behaviour needs adult scaffolding to stay connected to the purpose.
What you might see
The child moves close to a trusted adult and nods when the adult names the feeling.
When a turn is delayed, the child frowns, says one word, and accepts a timer.
The child lets an adult offer two choices and reaches for one.
Expected
On track
During waiting, comfort, conflict, or settling, the child follows through long enough for a kaiako or whānau member to observe the intent and outcome.
What you might see
The child says “I need help” and brings the stuck item to an adult before yelling.
The child chooses the quiet cushion after covering ears during a loud song.
The child accepts a plan for a later turn.
Exceeding
Going further
The child turns the immediate moment into a richer plan, repair, explanation, or shared investigation.
What you might see
The child explains what caused the upset and asks for a timer so both children can have a turn.
The child tells an adult what support would help during a difficult transition.
The child suggests a repair, such as giving back the toy and trying a different role.
Try this at home
Small everyday moments where you can notice this behaviour without setting up anything special.
Make one part of waiting, comfort, conflict, or settling slightly different from usual. Track signs of noticing, planning, and adjustment.
Put a peer or toy character into the scene; watch for inclusion, care, boundary-setting, or shared problem solving.
Where this comes from
The dataset source and any supporting developmental research.
Ministry of Education. (2017). Te Whāriki: He whāriki mātauranga mō ngā mokopuna o Aotearoa: Early childhood curriculum.
The bicultural early childhood curriculum of Aotearoa New Zealand. Te Tāhuhu o te Mātauranga (NZ Ministry of Education), 2017 revision.