Enjoys joining in with family customs and routines.
Observe whether the child: enjoys joining in with family customs and routines.
What it looks like
Three ways this behaviour shows up as a child grows. Each level includes everyday moments to watch for.
Emerging
Just starting
Joins in small parts of routines when prompted, especially the most motivating parts, but participation is inconsistent. Enjoyment is present at times but fades quickly or depends on adult support.
What you might see
At a predictable routine time (e.g., bedtime), refuses multiple steps and leaves the activity repeatedly unless physically guided back.
When adults model a simple custom (wave goodbye/thank you), does not copy or shows distress/avoidance.
During mealtime routines (wash hands, sit), cannot stay engaged long enough to complete steps even with reminders.
Copies one routine action (e.g., waves goodbye) when prompted, but does not do it later without prompting.
Enjoys one part of bedtime (story) but resists the steps leading up to it (pajamas/teeth).
Joins a family custom when adults make it highly playful (song/gesture) but stops if adult attention shifts.
Expected
On track
Participates in familiar customs and routines in supported contexts (e.g., bedtime, mealtimes), and may anticipate the next step. Enjoys predictable parts and can re-join with gentle prompting.
What you might see
Moves through a simple routine with adult cues (e.g., “first shoes off, then hands”) and stays with the activity.
Shows recognition of what comes next (“story time now”) and brings an item (book/blanket) with prompting.
Participates in a repeated family practice (greeting, tidying) and smiles/laughs while doing it.
Exceeding
Going further
Consistently joins family routines with positive affect and may initiate them (e.g., requests the usual song/story). Can cope with small variations and remains engaged across home and familiar settings.
What you might see
Initiates a familiar routine (“my bedtime song”/“story now”) and remains engaged through multiple steps.
Joins customary phrases/gestures (e.g., greeting, thanks) appropriately across different familiar adults.
Accepts a small change to the routine (different caregiver/order) with brief protest and then re-engages.
Reminds a sibling/peer about a routine step (“wash hands then snack”) and models the action.
Explains a family custom in simple terms (“we do this every Friday”) and invites others to join.
Adjusts to a new routine (e.g., travel/visit) by asking what happens next and participating with minimal distress.
Try this at home
Small everyday moments where you can notice this behaviour without setting up anything special.
At bedtime, pause before the usual next step and ask: “What do we do next?” Notice whether your child anticipates and joins in.
At mealtime, invite a small routine (handwashing, sitting place, “thank you”). Notice whether your child participates willingly and with enjoyment.
During greetings and goodbyes, observe whether your child joins in the family way of saying hello/bye without being told.
On a repeated weekly family activity (e.g., library day/visiting relatives), ask: “What do we usually do on this day?”
When visiting another household, notice whether your child can join a new routine when you explain it simply (shoes off, quiet voice, tidy-up).
Connected behaviours
Behaviours that scaffold, follow, or co-emerge with this one.
The framework source and supporting developmental research.
Framework source
Development Matters in the EYFS (2012), Understanding the world: People and communities (30–50 months).
Family routines and customs are treated as observable participation behaviours within the framework’s People and communities progression.
Five-level rubric (detailed)ShowHide
The full progression underlying the three levels above. Used by the platform’s reasoning agent when planning activities and observations.
Not Yet
Does not show enjoyment or participation in familiar family routines and customs, often resisting or disengaging. Needs frequent adult direction to complete routine steps.
At a predictable routine time (e.g., bedtime), refuses multiple steps and leaves the activity repeatedly unless physically guided back.
When adults model a simple custom (wave goodbye/thank you), does not copy or shows distress/avoidance.
During mealtime routines (wash hands, sit), cannot stay engaged long enough to complete steps even with reminders.
Emerging
Joins in small parts of routines when prompted, especially the most motivating parts, but participation is inconsistent. Enjoyment is present at times but fades quickly or depends on adult support.
Copies one routine action (e.g., waves goodbye) when prompted, but does not do it later without prompting.
Enjoys one part of bedtime (story) but resists the steps leading up to it (pajamas/teeth).
Joins a family custom when adults make it highly playful (song/gesture) but stops if adult attention shifts.
Developing
Participates in familiar customs and routines in supported contexts (e.g., bedtime, mealtimes), and may anticipate the next step. Enjoys predictable parts and can re-join with gentle prompting.
Moves through a simple routine with adult cues (e.g., “first shoes off, then hands”) and stays with the activity.
Shows recognition of what comes next (“story time now”) and brings an item (book/blanket) with prompting.
Participates in a repeated family practice (greeting, tidying) and smiles/laughs while doing it.
Secure
Consistently joins family routines with positive affect and may initiate them (e.g., requests the usual song/story). Can cope with small variations and remains engaged across home and familiar settings.
Initiates a familiar routine (“my bedtime song”/“story now”) and remains engaged through multiple steps.
Joins customary phrases/gestures (e.g., greeting, thanks) appropriately across different familiar adults.
Accepts a small change to the routine (different caregiver/order) with brief protest and then re-engages.
Reflexive
Applies routines flexibly, explaining or demonstrating them to others and adapting when circumstances change. Recognises that different families have different routines and can participate respectfully in new ones with support.
Reminds a sibling/peer about a routine step (“wash hands then snack”) and models the action.
Explains a family custom in simple terms (“we do this every Friday”) and invites others to join.
Adjusts to a new routine (e.g., travel/visit) by asking what happens next and participating with minimal distress.
