30–50 monthsManaging SelfPersonal, Social and Emotional Development: Self-confidence and self-awareness
Confident to talk to other children when playing, and will communicate freely about own home and community.
Observe whether the child: confident to talk to other children when playing, and will communicate freely about own home and community.
What it looks like
Three ways this behaviour shows up as a child grows. Each level includes everyday moments to watch for.
Emerging
Just starting
Occasionally responds to peers with short phrases or echoes, especially with familiar children, but does not consistently initiate talk. Can share simple facts about home/community with prompting.
What you might see
Plays alongside other children without speaking to them, even when they invite interaction.
Looks to an adult to answer for them when another child asks a simple question (e.g., "What are you making?").
Turns away or becomes silent when a peer approaches or tries to join their play.
Answers a peer with one or two words (e.g., "car", "mine") but does not continue the conversation.
Tells an adult (not a peer) a simple home fact after prompting (e.g., "Who lives at your house?").
Uses a memorised phrase to join play (e.g., "Can I play?") but needs encouragement to keep talking.
Expected
On track
Initiates brief conversations with peers during familiar play and can talk about home/community in simple, relevant ways. Confidence varies by setting, group size, or familiarity.
What you might see
Says to a peer, "Come here" or "Let's play" and gives a simple idea for the game.
Tells a peer a short personal detail during play (e.g., "My brother has one" / "I go to the park").
Responds to a peer's question and adds one extra piece of information without adult support.
Exceeding
Going further
Talks freely with other children during play across a range of contexts and maintains a back-and-forth exchange. Shares details about home and community experiences spontaneously and appropriately.
What you might see
Keeps a conversation going with a peer for several turns during play (asks/answers questions).
Spontaneously talks about a community place or event (e.g., "We went to the library") and links it to play.
Introduces a new child to the play by explaining what is happening and what they can do.
Asks peers about their home/community (e.g., "Where do you go after nursery?") and listens to the answer.
Notices a quieter child and invites them in with supportive language (e.g., "You can be the shopkeeper").
Explains a preference or idea clearly to a peer group and adjusts when others contribute different ideas.
Try this at home
Small everyday moments where you can notice this behaviour without setting up anything special.
At the playground, notice whether your child initiates talk with another child (e.g., inviting them to play) without you prompting.
During pretend play at home (shop/house), listen for your child sharing real details about home or places you go (e.g., "We buy bread at...").
On the way home, ask: "What did you play with today and who did you talk to?" and notice how freely they talk about other children and familiar places.
During a playdate, observe whether your child can keep a back-and-forth conversation going while playing (not just one-off comments).
Connected behaviours
Behaviours that scaffold, follow, or co-emerge with this one.
The framework source and supporting developmental research.
Framework source
Development Matters in the EYFS (2012), Department for Education (DfE).
This construct is directly specified in DM2012 for self-confidence and self-awareness and is designed for naturalistic observation during play.
Five-level rubric (detailed)ShowHide
The full progression underlying the three levels above. Used by the platform’s reasoning agent when planning activities and observations.
Not Yet
Rarely speaks to other children in play and relies on adults to communicate for them. Shares little or nothing about home/community and may withdraw when peers approach.
Plays alongside other children without speaking to them, even when they invite interaction.
Looks to an adult to answer for them when another child asks a simple question (e.g., "What are you making?").
Turns away or becomes silent when a peer approaches or tries to join their play.
Emerging
Occasionally responds to peers with short phrases or echoes, especially with familiar children, but does not consistently initiate talk. Can share simple facts about home/community with prompting.
Answers a peer with one or two words (e.g., "car", "mine") but does not continue the conversation.
Tells an adult (not a peer) a simple home fact after prompting (e.g., "Who lives at your house?").
Uses a memorised phrase to join play (e.g., "Can I play?") but needs encouragement to keep talking.
Developing
Initiates brief conversations with peers during familiar play and can talk about home/community in simple, relevant ways. Confidence varies by setting, group size, or familiarity.
Says to a peer, "Come here" or "Let's play" and gives a simple idea for the game.
Tells a peer a short personal detail during play (e.g., "My brother has one" / "I go to the park").
Responds to a peer's question and adds one extra piece of information without adult support.
Secure
Talks freely with other children during play across a range of contexts and maintains a back-and-forth exchange. Shares details about home and community experiences spontaneously and appropriately.
Keeps a conversation going with a peer for several turns during play (asks/answers questions).
Spontaneously talks about a community place or event (e.g., "We went to the library") and links it to play.
Introduces a new child to the play by explaining what is happening and what they can do.
Reflexive
Adapts communication confidently across situations, including new peers or mixed-age play, and actively includes others in conversation. Shares and compares experiences about home/community and can support a quieter peer to join in.
Asks peers about their home/community (e.g., "Where do you go after nursery?") and listens to the answer.
Notices a quieter child and invites them in with supportive language (e.g., "You can be the shopkeeper").
Explains a preference or idea clearly to a peer group and adjusts when others contribute different ideas.
