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8–20 monthsManaging Self

Engages other person to help achieve a goal, e.g. to get an object out of reach.

Observe whether the child: engages other person to help achieve a goal, e.g. to get an object out of reach.

What it looks like

Three ways this behaviour shows up as a child grows. Each level includes everyday moments to watch for.

Emerging

Just starting

Shows early help-seeking attempts (e.g., reaching toward adult, vocalising) but signals are vague or inconsistent, so the goal is not clear. Often needs the adult to guess and prompt.

What you might see

  • Reaches for an out-of-reach object, then cries or drops to the floor without looking at or approaching an adult.
  • Pushes/throws a nearby item in frustration rather than signalling what they want.
  • Does not bring an adult toward the problem or attempt to show the adult the object.
  • Looks at an adult and vocalises but does not indicate the target object (no point/show/reach toward it).
  • Pulls an adult's hand or sleeve without directing them to the specific location/object.
  • Alternates between reaching and fussing; stops once the adult intervenes but cannot clearly repeat the signal.

Expected

On track

Uses clearer directed communication to engage a helper (look + gesture + sound/word), especially in familiar routines. Persists briefly and shows satisfaction when the goal is achieved.

What you might see

  • Looks at the adult, then at the object, then back at the adult (gaze shift) and reaches/points toward the object.
  • Hands an adult a container/toy to open or fix it, showing the goal through the object itself.
  • Repeats a gesture or sound until the adult comes, then leads them to the out-of-reach object.

Exceeding

Going further

Reliably engages another person to help achieve a goal, using coordinated signals (pointing/showing/giving) and adjusting communication if the first attempt fails. Seeks help appropriately rather than escalating quickly.

What you might see

  • Points or reaches toward the out-of-reach object while making a clear request sound/word and watching the adult's response.
  • If the adult misunderstands, repeats or changes the signal (e.g., points again, brings the adult closer, shows the object).
  • Waits briefly while the adult helps, without escalating to distress immediately.
  • Approaches a specific person and uses a simple word/sign plus pointing to specify the goal (e.g., "up", "help", "that").
  • Chooses a strategy based on the problem (brings stool to adult, brings lid to adult, points to shelf).
  • Offers an item to a peer/adult to help them (e.g., hands a dropped object back) after seeing their difficulty.

Try this at home

Small everyday moments where you can notice this behaviour without setting up anything special.

  • Put a favourite toy just out of reach (on a low shelf) and watch whether your child tries to get you involved by looking, pointing, or bringing you over.

  • Give your child a closed container with a desired item inside and notice whether they hand it to you or signal clearly for help rather than only fussing.

  • During outdoor play, pause before lifting your child onto a step/slide and see if they request help with a gesture or word (e.g., arms up, looking at you, vocalising).

  • When something breaks in play (toy stuck, lid won't fit), observe whether your child seeks you out and shows you the problem.

  • In a busy moment (you are nearby but not attending), see whether your child uses an attention-getting strategy (touch, sound, eye contact) and then indicates the goal.

Connected behaviours

Behaviours that scaffold, follow, or co-emerge with this one.

Where this comes from

The framework source and supporting developmental research.

Framework source

  • Development Matters in the EYFS (2012) (DM2012), Personal, Social and Emotional Development: Self-confidence and self-awareness (8-20m).

    The framework frames early agency and communication through observable help-seeking in everyday goals.

Developmental research

  • Vygotsky, L. S. (1978). Mind in Society: The Development of Higher Psychological Processes. Harvard University Press.

    Help-seeking to achieve goals reflects learning through social interaction and scaffolding, consistent with ZPD-based developmental progression.

Five-level rubric (detailed)Show

The full progression underlying the three levels above. Used by the platform’s reasoning agent when planning activities and observations.

Not Yet
When facing a problem (object out of reach), does not attempt to recruit another person and may only fuss/cry or give up. Communication is not directed toward a helper.
  • Reaches for an out-of-reach object, then cries or drops to the floor without looking at or approaching an adult.
  • Pushes/throws a nearby item in frustration rather than signalling what they want.
  • Does not bring an adult toward the problem or attempt to show the adult the object.
Emerging
Shows early help-seeking attempts (e.g., reaching toward adult, vocalising) but signals are vague or inconsistent, so the goal is not clear. Often needs the adult to guess and prompt.
  • Looks at an adult and vocalises but does not indicate the target object (no point/show/reach toward it).
  • Pulls an adult's hand or sleeve without directing them to the specific location/object.
  • Alternates between reaching and fussing; stops once the adult intervenes but cannot clearly repeat the signal.
Developing
Uses clearer directed communication to engage a helper (look + gesture + sound/word), especially in familiar routines. Persists briefly and shows satisfaction when the goal is achieved.
  • Looks at the adult, then at the object, then back at the adult (gaze shift) and reaches/points toward the object.
  • Hands an adult a container/toy to open or fix it, showing the goal through the object itself.
  • Repeats a gesture or sound until the adult comes, then leads them to the out-of-reach object.
Secure
Reliably engages another person to help achieve a goal, using coordinated signals (pointing/showing/giving) and adjusting communication if the first attempt fails. Seeks help appropriately rather than escalating quickly.
  • Points or reaches toward the out-of-reach object while making a clear request sound/word and watching the adult's response.
  • If the adult misunderstands, repeats or changes the signal (e.g., points again, brings the adult closer, shows the object).
  • Waits briefly while the adult helps, without escalating to distress immediately.
Reflexive
Flexibly recruits help across settings and people, sometimes choosing the most suitable helper and using simple language/signs to specify the goal. May also begin to offer help to others in similar situations.
  • Approaches a specific person and uses a simple word/sign plus pointing to specify the goal (e.g., "up", "help", "that").
  • Chooses a strategy based on the problem (brings stool to adult, brings lid to adult, points to shelf).
  • Offers an item to a peer/adult to help them (e.g., hands a dropped object back) after seeing their difficulty.