40–60 monthsBuilding RelationshipsPersonal, Social and Emotional Development: Making relationships
Early Learning Goal Children play co-operatively, taking turns with others. They take account of one another’s ideas about how to organise their activity. They show sensitivity to others’ needs and feelings, and form positive relationships with adults and other children.
Observe whether the child: early Learning Goal Children play co-operatively, taking turns with others. They take account of one another’s ideas about how to organise their activity. They show sensitivity to others’ needs and feelings, and form positive relationships with adults and other children.
What it looks like
Three ways this behaviour shows up as a child grows. Each level includes everyday moments to watch for.
Emerging
Just starting
The child can cooperate briefly with strong adult support, taking turns when prompted and occasionally noticing others’ feelings, but they revert to own agenda under excitement or frustration. They sometimes listen to others’ ideas but have difficulty organising shared activity together.
What you might see
In a group game, the child grabs resources and continues despite a peer saying “I was using that.”
When a peer suggests a plan (“Let’s build a zoo”), the child ignores it and insists on a different plan without negotiation.
If a peer becomes upset, the child continues play without checking or adjusting behaviour.
The child takes a turn after an adult says “Now it’s her turn,” but tries to take another turn immediately after.
The child repeats a peer’s idea (“a zoo”) but does not adjust their actions to match the shared plan.
When a peer looks sad, the child glances over but needs prompting to respond (“Ask if they’re okay”).
Expected
On track
The child plays cooperatively with familiar peers in structured or familiar play, taking turns and incorporating others’ ideas with reminders. They show growing sensitivity (e.g., checking if someone is okay) but may need support to resolve misunderstandings or negotiate plans.
What you might see
The child waits for a turn in a familiar game when reminded and says “your turn/my turn.”
When building together, the child changes where they place pieces after a peer says “Put it here so it fits.”
The child notices a peer is upset and offers a simple response such as “Sorry” or “You can have it next.”
Exceeding
Going further
The child routinely plays cooperatively across contexts, taking turns, negotiating how to organise shared activity, and showing sensitivity to others’ needs and feelings. They form and maintain positive relationships with both adults and peers with minimal adult mediation.
What you might see
The child negotiates a plan: “You build the houses and I’ll make the road—then we swap.”
In cooperative play, the child accepts a peer’s suggestion and acts on it (e.g., changes roles, adds materials) without adult help.
The child responds to a peer’s feelings by adjusting behaviour (e.g., lowers voice, offers comfort, gives space).
The child integrates ideas: “We can do both—first we make a zoo, then we make a shop next to it.”
When conflict starts, the child proposes a compromise (“We can set a timer” / “Let’s do one each”).
The child notices a peer left out and actively includes them (“Do you want to be the ticket person? We need you”).
Try this at home
Small everyday moments where you can notice this behaviour without setting up anything special.
During a shared board game or card game, notice whether your child takes turns without repeated reminders and can handle waiting or losing.
When playing with siblings/friends, listen for whether your child takes account of others’ ideas about the plan (“How should we do it?”) and changes actions accordingly.
In everyday routines (setting the table, tidying), see whether your child can organise a joint task with you (“You do cups, I do plates”) and adjust if you suggest a different order.
At the park, observe whether your child is sensitive to others’ feelings (e.g., stops a rough game when someone looks upset, checks in).
During story time, ask “How do you think that character feels?” and notice whether your child uses that to guide how they would act toward someone in real life.
Where this comes from
The framework source and supporting developmental research.
Framework source
Development Matters in the EYFS (2012) — Personal, Social and Emotional Development: Making relationships (Early Learning Goal).
The ELG describes the observable end-of-EYFS expectations for cooperative play, turn-taking, sensitivity, and positive relationships.
Developmental research
Parten, M. B. (1932). Social participation among pre-school children.
The shift toward cooperative play and coordinated organisation of activity is a well-described developmental progression in early childhood social development.
Five-level rubric (detailed)ShowHide
The full progression underlying the three levels above. Used by the platform’s reasoning agent when planning activities and observations.
Not Yet
The child struggles to sustain cooperative play: turns often break down, the child does not take account of others’ ideas, and sensitivity to others’ feelings is limited in the moment. Relationships may be conflict-prone or adult-dependent to stay positive.
In a group game, the child grabs resources and continues despite a peer saying “I was using that.”
When a peer suggests a plan (“Let’s build a zoo”), the child ignores it and insists on a different plan without negotiation.
If a peer becomes upset, the child continues play without checking or adjusting behaviour.
Emerging
The child can cooperate briefly with strong adult support, taking turns when prompted and occasionally noticing others’ feelings, but they revert to own agenda under excitement or frustration. They sometimes listen to others’ ideas but have difficulty organising shared activity together.
The child takes a turn after an adult says “Now it’s her turn,” but tries to take another turn immediately after.
The child repeats a peer’s idea (“a zoo”) but does not adjust their actions to match the shared plan.
When a peer looks sad, the child glances over but needs prompting to respond (“Ask if they’re okay”).
Developing
The child plays cooperatively with familiar peers in structured or familiar play, taking turns and incorporating others’ ideas with reminders. They show growing sensitivity (e.g., checking if someone is okay) but may need support to resolve misunderstandings or negotiate plans.
The child waits for a turn in a familiar game when reminded and says “your turn/my turn.”
When building together, the child changes where they place pieces after a peer says “Put it here so it fits.”
The child notices a peer is upset and offers a simple response such as “Sorry” or “You can have it next.”
Secure
The child routinely plays cooperatively across contexts, taking turns, negotiating how to organise shared activity, and showing sensitivity to others’ needs and feelings. They form and maintain positive relationships with both adults and peers with minimal adult mediation.
The child negotiates a plan: “You build the houses and I’ll make the road—then we swap.”
In cooperative play, the child accepts a peer’s suggestion and acts on it (e.g., changes roles, adds materials) without adult help.
The child responds to a peer’s feelings by adjusting behaviour (e.g., lowers voice, offers comfort, gives space).
Reflexive
The child leads inclusive cooperation: they help organise group activity by integrating multiple ideas, anticipate others’ feelings/needs, and use repair strategies to keep relationships positive. They may support peers (including less confident children) to participate and to resolve conflicts constructively.
The child integrates ideas: “We can do both—first we make a zoo, then we make a shop next to it.”
When conflict starts, the child proposes a compromise (“We can set a timer” / “Let’s do one each”).
The child notices a peer left out and actively includes them (“Do you want to be the ticket person? We need you”).
