3.3y–5y10 minFamily timeQuiet time
Feelings & Reasons Chat
A gentle, structured conversation that helps you support your child to name feelings and explain why they reacted in a certain way, using a small recent moment as the anchor.
What you'll need
Essentials
- a recent photo, a quick stick drawing, or a small everyday object linked to a recent moment
- paper and a pencil/crayon
Nice to have
- a small soft toy (to hold while it’s your turn to talk)
- two small bowls/containers labelled ‘feelings’ and ‘reasons’ (optional)
Movement level: false
What you'll do
The 4-step guide, with what to look for at each step, is for signed-in parents.
What this develops
- MilestoneNames own feelingsHeart· 3y–4y· stretch· Step 1
- MilestoneExplains causesMind· 3.8y–4.6y· core· Step 2
- MilestoneUses talk to organise, sequence and clarify thinking, ideas, feelings and events.Mind· 3.3y–5y· core
- MilestoneUnderstands that own actions affect other people, for example, becomes upset or tries to comfort another child when they realise they have upset them.Heart· 3.3y–5y· stretch
- MilestoneCaptures experiences and responses with a range of media, such as music, dance and paint and other materials or words.Mind· 2.5y–4.2y· stretch· Step 1
- MilestoneTalks about own interests and ideasMind· 4y–5y· core· Steps 2, 4
- MilestoneSays what will happen nextMind· 2.5y–4y· stretch· Step 4
- MilestoneUses movement to express feelings.Heart· 2.5y–4.2y· stretch· Step 1
What it practices
- Remembers and talks about significant events in their own experience.Observable behaviour from Development Matters
- Knows some of the things that make them unique, and can talk about some of the similarities and differences in relation to friends or family.Observable behaviour from Development Matters
- Shows interest in the lives of people who are familiar to them.Observable behaviour from Development Matters
Where it comes from
- Source
- Development Matters in the EYFS (DfE, 2012)
- Original guidance
- “Encourage children to share their feelings and talk about why they respond to experiences in particular ways.”
- License
- Open Government Licence v3.0
- Attribution
- © Crown Copyright 2012 (Development Matters in the EYFS, DfE)